My daughter, Avery is a huge pest! She will annoy me on purpose...or at least I feel like she does. I have come to the conclusion that she does this to get attention from me. I believe she is a child that requires more attention than most because of the playmates she has had since birth that are all of a sudden gone. (Due to the other children I was watch full time in our home.)
All week, especially in the evening I have felt my rope unraveling and just ready to snap apart. I see the psychological reasoning on her part. Bad attention is better than no attention. But how do I fill this emotional need of hers? I spend all day with her and it just is never enough. I have been taking her all over town trying to keep her occupied. And you know what, I am just not that interested in playing Candy Land or pretend to cook for hours upon hours everyday.
I just don't know what to do about it. She pesters to the point I seriously start to loose my patience and temper with her and I feel awful for it.
The Six "Be's"- Gordon B. Hinckley
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Children Pestering
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6 comments:
You bring a smile to my face, Mary. If someone has a good answer to this, I'd like to know what it is! I've had up to 3 or 4 of my kids at one insane moment all whining and making demands. I think part of it may be just the nature of children (ESPECIALLY GIRLS). I know with Jennaveve I have to prepare her before we start playing Barbies or Candyland that Mom is going to play ONE game and then she gets to pick an activity to do herself. I also started giving her jobs to do around the house since most of the time that's what I'm doing. She loves being on the step-stool rinsing the dishes (and with a little practice has actually gotten quite good at it), and I've given her a magic eraser to go at all the doors and walls. It takes a little time and effort initially but I have made my life a little easier by making the kids take on more responsibility around the house. They are a lot more capable than I assumed. After dinner, Bayley (8) and Payson (5), can put the food away, clear the dishes, rinse the dishes and load and start the dishwasher.....and they love to do it because they are helping (and I give them a little later bedtime to do whatever they want. Jennaveve (3) and Skyla (2), are great at picking up all the loose toys, putting dirty clothes in the laundry room, and things like that. If they are busy, they aren't pestering me :o).
Wow Andrea! Those are some great ideas. I think that would definitely help with Tye. He loves to vaccuum, so one day, I just turned it on and he walked around the living room for about 30 minutes vaccuming! Mary, I also let Tye go outside by himself a lot. Y'all have a closed in backyard, so she is safe. Just give her lots of popsicles to keep her hydrated, and that will give you a little bit of peace and quiet.
I like your ideas Andrea. I know when I feel that Bryce is pestering, I try and turn what I think his pestering is into a game. LIke Alisa and Andrea said, I let Bryce help me with cleaning. He loves. He's also been great at playing by himself and with other kids. It's good for kids to play with others and by themselves. We have only kept a few toys in Bryce's room and some books in there. He's able to go in there and have his own "quite time". When we do story time each day, after about 30 mins of doing story time w/ the kids he loves to just sit and look through the books. I know it's boring to go outside and play by themselves, well Bryce gets bored quickly outside like Avery does. I try and do things w/ him and let him do things by himself. I hope that this makes sense.
I just thought of something else that I do. I put on some relaxing kid music like "baby Genesis" music and Bryce LOVES it. I'll put that on and he'll calm right down.
I love this post Mary! You took the words right out of my mouth! I am listening to all the advice here. Jacob is the same way. It is nice to hear that not all moms are wanting to play candy land (bug catcher, snake pet store in Jacob's case) all day. I sure don't.
I'm glad to know I'm not the only who can only take so much of Candyland, doll houses and tea parties. I mean, I do try to get into it for my daughters sakes, but it is really hard to remember how to play like a little girl again. I remember when Natalie was around 3 or 4, it seemed like no matter how much attention I gave her, it just wasn't enough. So, I started setting aside certain times of the day to play with her so that she knew she had my undivided attention. It didn't always work, but she seemed to do better when she realized that she was going to have opportunities throughout the day to play with me. Lily is at that age now, so I'm trying the same tactic with her. Now that Natalie is older, I've explained to her that if she wants to play with me, then we will decide together to play something that is interesting to us both. This compromise seems to work well for her now that she's old enough to understand. Like Andrea said, having kids help out around the house is a good way to give them the attention they crave and at the same time get the benefits of having someone else help with the housework. It's also a great way to teach responsibility. The ironic thing is that 2, 3, 4 yr olds love to help out but physically can't do as much without help and then by the time kids are old enough to physically handle "chores", the idea that they are fun is pretty much a foreign concept to them. I think if I could just combine Lily's enthusiasm to help and Natalie's capabilities, I'd have the perfect combination!
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