Discipline

What are some ways you guys discipline? I am struggling with that right now. TIme out is a joke now with my kids, and I try to be consistent, but it doesn't seem to affect them. I think I am going to try taking away priveleges and maybe some favorite toys, but there are some instances that those things just don't seem to cover the act...like flat out saying "no" and hitting me, and things like that. I can tell you what I want to do...but I am trying to control my temper and keep things calm. Any suggestions on what works for you?

Sorry for the lack of posts...

Hi everyone! THanks to Nikia and Mary and everyone that commented on their posts in the last few weeks. I have had a busy few months moving, so I have not posted or commented. Hopefully things are settling down and I can get back into it.

Does anyone have any suggestions for good, easy, nutritious foods? I want to change our eating habits, but that starts with grocery shopping, and i am at a loss.

FakeBook and MyFake....and Me!

Hello Ladies! I dont post alot but I read this blog alot! Praise to Alisa for creating a real social network so to speak for us to post and be real on! Ive decided to start my own blog. Im contemplating deleting my facebook and myspace accounts. Not because I feel they are bad. I just feel like unlike this blog where I come because I feel comfortable sharing and assured in reading true feelings. I feel facebook and myspace have become this thing where we "friend" people just to be nosey..not really to participate or be informed of anything. We judge and gossip (sorry just being real) about the happenings on said pages and have "friend" numbers of 532 of people we never really talk too. Anyways..Ive been struggling with it alot lately. Also it sometimes creates frustration...with lives that are painted PERFECT in everyway....the perfect husband, kids, house, vacations, more money than anyone can stand.....NOW..dont get me wrong. My posts or status updates can be a gag feast of friend appreciation and husband and kid love..but..I have some days that can make my church friends squeek with pain...lololol! Which is why I decided to start a blog for myself and my family. Where I can post recipes, craft projects and my thoughts(be afraid,,be very afraid..lol) and get feed back from people I know and dont really  know but that share my views or need help in a certain area! With that comes my thoughts of deleting my other pages...has anyone else struggled with Facebook and Myspace??? Just curious!

One last thing..my blog addy is dramamama0608@blogspot.com. Please follow me through my journey in life and tell anyone else about it youd like..the more women empowering one another the better!! I will post daily..sometimes twice so...enjoy!

Overwhelmed with "advice"

**breathe, breathe..deep breathe...in, out...**

I am feeling like I want to take my baby Ady and hide in a closet or scream at every one of the people handing out advice to me right now. Neither is a good solution.

Adyson has had eczema since she was a baby and she has flare ups every once in a while. She has one right now. It looks bad. We have NO clue what, if anything, causes her to flare up. We have seen multiple dermatologists who are just as clueless, along with our pediatrician. We are told she may grow out of it or she may not. We find a routine that helps. We make a little progress just for it to stop working.

We, my husband and I, are frustrated. Ady is frustrated.

We, me for sure, am tired of being prescribed another ointment. I have a handful of them laying around my house. I want to shake anyone who tells me "it's really not that bad". (yes my pediatrician almost died that visit) I have bottles of different lotions all over my house as well.

I've been given bags full of products. I've been given herbal treatments.

I've been given some weird crap!

(Snake, anyone?)

By everyone I know.

I am grateful.

So happy to see everyone is concerned and want to help my precious,

sometimes miserable Ady. We DO want to see her get better and relived from her eczema.

I know it's all advice from a good heart and place.

But...a BIG but...

We are trying to do what we think is best and what works for us.

Have we tried everything?

No.

Will we try everything?

No.

With every new thing we try we have to worry and pray she doesn't have a bad reaction.

I am tired of feeling pressured and like a terrible parent.

We are working on it. I just don't know what else to say to people.

I guess we could try to hide from everyone.

Gratitude journal

Have any of you ever kept a gratitude journal? I've decided that I really need to. I'm getting so bogged down on all the negatives right now. Hopefully, as I write down even the smallest things that I have to be grateful for, I will become a more positive person. I have always struggled with being a pessimist. I jokingly say that really I'm being a "realist". But, I think it's really affecting my ability to be a good wife and mother. I wouldn't want to be around me right now, so why should my family? I started my journal a couple of weeks ago and did pretty well with it for about 3 days. Then, I got busy with life and forgot about it. I've been having a lot of my own "melt-downs" lately, so I'm going to try the journal again and see if it helps. It's divided up between all the members of my family. That way I can look at each family member on an individual basis and find something positive to say about them. I'll let y'all know how it goes. And if anyone else wants to join in, I'd love to hear your insights about whether it has helped or not.

Asking Jane

A friend shared this on her blog.

ASKING JANE:

The Brilliant mother of eleven

saving my life

one Answer at a time.

Clean out Your Clutter Challenge

Over at Money Saving Mom, Crystal is hosting a Clean out you Clutter Challenge! I am participating! I have already made a few efforts this past month to organize, clean, and get rid of clutter.

"we’ll be working through our homes room-by-room in an effort to ruthlessly rid our lives of unnecessary things.

Clear Out the Clutter Assignment #1
::Go through your living room, coat closet and hall closet (or any other closets or cupboards which reside in your living room area) and then ruthlessly clear out any and all clutter and unnecessary items you find.
::Tally up the approximate amount of items you’re getting rid of. You’ll need that number to enter the giveaway tomorrow!"

Here's Crystals first assignment accomplishments!

Here's My first assignment accomplishments!

Who's with us? Starts today!

When life gives you lemons...make lemonade.

Such a simple statement. Yet, somehow I loathe it sometimes. Life is hard. Marriage is hard. Parenthood is hard. There are days that sometimes we wonder if we are even going to make it through. There are days we don't WANT to make it through. There are days we HAVE to make it through. We have at least 2 Happy Mommy readers that are going through unthinkable circumstances right now. I cannot fathom what they are going through. This blog gets looked at several times a day. Do you think each of you could write some words of encouragement for all of us moms that are dealing with "life's lemons" and can't seem to make any sort of lemonade at all?

My New Hobby

Need any cute floral headbands for a little girl in your life? I am making and selling them.

They are $4 for each flower, and $2 for the headband. I am selling separately because Kenadie cannot wear the headband, so I have attached alligator clips to each flower so they can be worn alone, or easily slid onto a headband. I only have white headbands at the moment.

If you see any you like, email me at alisavasquez@gmail.com!

Spring Cleaning and Organization

It's about that time! Spring cleaning is something that I never look forward to, but feel so much better when it is done. Do any of you have any tricks or tips to share with the rest of us to make it a bit more fun?

Goodbye Winter Blues!

Ok, so if you have been following this blog for a while, you know that I suffer from depression, and more recently, I was diagnosed with bi-polar depression. I struggle to get through daily tasks, and sometimes the slightest things will set me off. This winter has been really hard on me. It has been cold and miserable most of the time and we have been cooped up in the house.

Well, the last few days have been AWESOME! I really think I have a Vitamin D deficiency (and not from milk which I drink a ton of), but from the sun! I have been out in the sun the last few days as much as possible and I feel so much better. I am planning on making it to the park as much as possible before the temps hit over 100. And then we will be headed to the pool!

I hope this is a start to a great spring and summer! It feels great to be feeling better, and smiling more!

Holly

One of our readers is going through the unthinkable. Her name is Holly and her son, Spencer, was diagnosed with Rhabdomyosarcoma about a month ago. She has a blog devoted to him. I would check it out and remember her in our prayers. I don't know her personally, but she is a really good friend of one of my close friends, and she has commented on the Happy Mommas blog several times. She is an inspiration and could really use all the support we can give. Please check out MySuperSpence and leave her a message to know you are thinking of her. You can also become penpals with Spencer if you would like, or make a donation (I am sure medical bills are mounting).

I cannot imagine the pain she must deal with every day trying to balance being a mother to her other 2 children, and trying to be a "rock" for her son struggling with the biggest battle of his life. She is truly a special person.

Holly, if you read this, we love you and are thinking of you.

refusing a bottle

I have a question for any of you that were able to nurse your babies. Joshua is my third and the first one that I've been able to nurse. He and I had a really, really rough go of it for the first couple of months, but he's doing great nursing now. He's about 4.5 months old. Well, I would have loved to have had this problem when he was a newborn, but not so much now. He is absolutely refusing a bottle! He used to switch back and forth with no problem (in fact, he preferred the bottle for a while). But now he won't take one at all. Not from me, my husband or any one else! It's getting quite frustrating. I can't be away from him for more than a couple of hours and I would love for my husband to be able to occasionally help with the night-time feedings. Did any of you experience this and if so, were you able to find a way to get the baby to take a bottle? My husband tried letting him cry it out once, but after missing two feedings, he still wouldn't give in to the bottle. I would love any advice that any of you could pass along to me.

Why?

Why is my house always a mess?
Why do I feel like I can never measure up?
Why do I feel bad about feeling like this?

Why can't I just put things into perspective?

A matter of perspective.

"Thank God for dirty dishes; They have a tale to tell.

While others may go hungry, We're eating very well.
With home, health, and happiness, I shouldn't want to fuss;
By the stack of evidence, God's been very good to us.

This poem keeps running through my head. I loathe the mess that awaits me each evening, after I put the kids in bed. If only I could snap my fingers like Mary Poppins and everything would put itself away. Tonight, however, I remembered this cute little poem and reminded myself that some of the worst things (like a messy house) are actually blessings in disquise. A messy house is a very small price to pay for these little people I love so much."

I read this on a friend's blog and decided to share it with you, I hope she doesn't mind. I find myself reminding myself every night this same concept with my own little personalized twist to it. When my girls want me to lay down with them for 45 minutes in bed while they fall asleep and I just REALLY don't want to because 45 minutes is precious to me and well I lay with them almost EVERY night. I have to tell myself "This does NOT last forever. This IS what is important RIGHT NOW." Usually that gets my mommy butt in gear and I stop whatever it is I am doing. Head straight upstairs and into a squashed twin bed with my 5 and 2 year old girls. And my dishes, books, the computer, and sometimes my husband awaits till hopefully later if I manage to stay awake longer than my children. Some sacrifices are actually blessings in disguise. And like my friend says "A messy house (or personal time alone) is a very small price to pay for these little people I love so much."

This is trivial...

Do any of you have fake nails? My hubby really wants me to do them again, and I am seriously considering it. I used to keep them done (well before kids), and I loved them, but it was a lot to keep up. Anyone have a comment?

Hope everyone is enjoying the upcoming holiday season!

Behavior

Hi, I just wanted to share this idea I got from Flipflops and Applesauce. Specifically this post. I used it with Avery and it seems to have work very well. It gave her an direct visual of what was her punishment, also what and when she would receive her privilege back.

See my lovely version. Not as pretty when it comes to the artistic aspects but either way it does the job effectively.

First week of work...

Well, I finished my first week of work...a full 40 hrs. There were a couple of rough times, but overall, it went well. Tye and Kenadie are adjusting, and I am enjoying being back out with adults. Kenadie wants to go to the "mall" every day, and Tye is always saying, "Mommy works at Yankee Candle." One morning Tye had a meltdown and I had to bribe him by telling him I would take them to McDonald's for dinner...it worked. I am using the crock pot a lot, and I am making large dinners to split and make freezer meals, so we don't have to go out. So far, so good. I am off today and tomorrow, then I work Tues thru Sat and by Sat I will be done with my training and I will get my keys back!!! Thanks for the support!

Last day before work...

Well, I go back to working outside the home tomorrow. This should be interesting. Today went alright, but I kept getting aggrivated because I spent hours cleaning on Friday, and my kids take minutes to destroy it again. Ugh. We went to church this morning, I am proud of myself for that since Michael isn't here. Now he doesn't have an excuse when I am working on Sundays to not take the kids to church!
The kids are at grandma's tonight, so that will help in the morning. I am able to sit back and relax a little tonight before the "big" day tomorrow! I will let you all know how it goes!

A Glimpse...

Well, Michael is gone for 5 days, so I am getting a glimpse of what it would be like to be a single mom. It is pretty dang hard...and I am only on Day 1! Starting work on Monday will be the real test. Today was crazy. It started bright and early with a garage sale at 7am. That ended up being a flop...but it was our 3rd one in a fairly short amount of time. After that, we had a bday party to go to. When we got home, we stayed there for a bit, then went to McDonald's because the house was clean and I didn't want it messed up.
Kenadie bit a kid while we were there, then had a massive meltdown. That was tough. I finally had to gather everything up and we had to leave. Poor Tye had found a friend and they were playing so well together, I hated to pull him away, but there was no way in hell I was letting Kenadie stay there acting like that. She was completely out of control. I threw away her drink and her toy on the way out, and that made her even more mad. So, we got home around 6, I bathed them, and put Kenadie to bed! I had had enough of that.
Tye and I hung out the rest of the evening and watched Polar Express. Kenadie woke up around 8, so I let them have some hot chocolate together, now they are in Tye's room watching a new fish light. I am about to have to separate them. It's sad, because Tye has already apologized on his own for throwing a couple of fits this evening, and I was really trying to be nice...but I am afraid now I have to be the bad guy again.
It is tough doing it on my own. I feel for all the single moms and all those that are alone in the evenings while their hubby is away.

Wish me luck...

Remember my post about going back to work? Well, I decided to go for it. I am working as 1st Assistant Manager at Yankee Candle. When I left the first time, I was store mgr, so this will be a bit of a change, but I think it will be good. I am not sure how much time I will have, but I would like to come on here every day and let you all know how it is going. I am excited, yet a bit nervous. The kids know I am going back to work, and I will be gone for a "long time" every day. So far they are ok with it! I am sure it is because they have no idea what this really means! I am going to give it a good try. It may last a week, a month, or I may continue working for the rest of my life! Who knows!
As a side-note, I was also diagnosed as "Soft bi-polar" so we will see how a bi-polar mom juggles work inside the home and work outside the home and if it is possible to maintain sanity! The last couple of days I have cleaned, organized and packed for our upcoming move in order to prepare for not being home every day. I have done pretty well, but I have lost it with the kids a couple of times. You know, the normal things like taking out everything I am putting up. We are still working on med dosage, so the outbursts may subside. Hopefully since I will not be with my kids all day, I will appreciate the time I am with them. That is the plan, anyway.
Well, I start Monday! Wish me luck!

Just a vent...

Ok. This isn't a question post, just a venting one. So, I walked Lily down to the park by our house last night after supper. There was a group of about 10 boys playing basketball there next to the playscape. Not a problem. Then I realize there is a little boy who was around 3 to 3.5 yrs old playing on the playscape. I look around and notice that there are no parent(s) watching this little boy. He proceeds to climb up onto the very top of the playscape onto the striped plastic awning. Obviously this is not where he should be climbing! I didn't know what to do, but I couldn't just stand there and watch him fall off! So, I tell him that he should climb down because it's dangerous up there and he could fall. He just stares at me. Finally, one of the older boys playing basketball (probably around 16 yrs old or so) tells him he should get down. I think he must have been his older brother. He never came over to make sure he climbed down, he just went right back to playing ball. Eventually the boy climbed down. A few minutes later I notice that there is a plastic cup on the wooden table under the playscape that has what appears to be old orange juice in it. Well, the little boy picks it up and ducks under the table. I look under there and he is about to drink it! I tell him that he shouldn't drink it and to go pour it out on the grass. Thankfully, he complied. Then he walks up to me and says "Halloween is a scary movie. I was watching it. The man kills people like this." He made a cutting motion across his throat! I didn't know what to say! Before we left to go home, he climbed up one more time on top of the awning. I'm assuming that the parents instructed the older brother to watch the little brother, but I sure wish there was some way I could let them know that he is not being supervised at all! He probably watched Halloween when his parents weren't around too. At least I would hope so. No wonder we have so many messed up teenagers and adults. If that poor kids survives his childhood, his brain is going to be totally warped from watching who knows what! Sorry, I just had to vent about this. I wanted to have a fun time with Lily at the park and instead I end up holding my breath the whole time and wondering if this little boy is going to fall to his death from the top of the playscape or get seriously ill from drinking who knows what out of some random cup!

Sign Language

With Kenadie being over 2 and still not talking, I have decided to really start with sign language. We started it a long time ago, but never stuck with it. I found a really neat site that has video clips on how to sign different words!! Just thought I would share.

Signing Savvy

Call me C-R-A-Z-Y

I decided to challenge myself to not spend more than $25 this week on groceries, household items, clothing etc. I wanted to ONLY spend $25 on EVERYTHING, but as I awoke this morning, I remembered I had a dr. appointment today, med refill, $65 for car registration, $25 for contacts...you know the unavoidable things. So, I changed it to the groceries, etc. I challenged 3 friends to the same thing, and we have to report to each other this coming Sunday. I hope to update you everyday on what I am cooking, what I purchased, what sales I found, what coupons I used, etc...so maybe you can do the same! This will be a learning week, but I hope to implement a similar thing for my budget every month. We shall see!

Today:
Entertainment: went to friends' house while I was a dr.
Food: Breakfast: donuts, cereal
Lunch: friend's house (thanks, Mary!)
Dinner: hamburger helper
Dessert: BlueBell ice cream!!
Money Spent:
-dr. visit
-car reg
-$0 on groceries, etc

Need Your Advice

Okay. I know I haven't written on this site for a while, but I have a situation here and I need your help. So, here goes. A writing colleague of mine has completely obliterated me from her life. I was gone for a while this summer, and when I got back she had taken her name off my "followers" list on my blog, Conversations With A Cardinal.
When I went to read her blog, she had erased my blog from her blog list. To make matters worse, she excluded me from conversation on a yahoo group we belong to. After I wrote something on the site, she decided to take her name off that, too. She won't answer my e-mails asking what I did. I HAVE NO IDEA why she is shunning me, but it hurts. It really hurts.
I am praying for her happiness, but I want to know what is going on. We had worked on a project for the guild and we were co-editors, but she took my name off that too before she sent it off for publication. I put a lot of work in that. And she took advantage of my being gone. What is your input as to what I should do? I would greatly appreciate any advice because this is eating away at me. Thanks!