A wonderful gift from a loving father

Over the weekend, our family went out to eat at Applebee's. When we walked in I saw a man and a young girl sitting eating, I assume it was a father and daughter. They were dressed nice(for Applebee's), I saw a red rose on the table next to the daughter and turned to Jess and pointed(without actually pointing) them out to him. Then he said something I had not thought about. He said the father was teaching his daughter how she needed to be treated. I just thought how adorable they looked.
I remember all the studies and such that have been done on young women and girls showing what a major role their dad plays in their development. Most with the conclusion that girls without their fathers love and attention goes looking for a replacement. Most replacement are not good replacements.
I watched them leave and as they walked hand in hand with the girl holding her rose. The father took off his jacket and wrapped it around his daughter. I told Jess I thought they couldn't get any cuter. I was trying my hardest to chock back tears because I thought and felt what a wonderful thing this father was doing for his daughter. What a stronger and healthier adult life she would have because of her dad. I bet he has no idea what a great gift he gave her that night at Applebee's. More than just dinner, a rose, and a jacket to keep warm.

I took this from Nikia's myspace...

A newborn's conversation with God....
A baby asked God, 'They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow, but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?' God said, 'Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you.


The child further inquired, 'But tell me, here in heaven I don't have to do anything but sing and smile to be happy.' God said, 'Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you. And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy.


Again the child asked, 'And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me if I don't know the language?' God said, 'Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak.


'And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?' God said, 'Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray.


'Who will protect me?' God said, 'Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life.


'But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore.' God said, 'Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you.


At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, 'God, if I am to leave now, please tell me my angel's name.


God said, 'You will simply call her, 'Mother .
'

Suggestions

Hello all! Im so glad to be a part of this awesome opportunity for moms that Alisa has put together! I was wondering if after having a second child if anyone felt extreme guilt for the first child. Meaning I feel bad for my Garrett that he is having to miss out on certain things due to Emily being so small! My parents keep her as much as they can so we can take him to birthday parties and I bring him to playdates but it is so hard during the day if she doesnt nap or is cranky for me to spend the one on one time we had before. The house is a mess and I get so frustrated at times! I even had to stop nursing our daughter because Garrett was really not taking to it! He stopped eating and would cry alot and try to hit her! Now that she is bottle feeding things are better but at times I really feel like I have ten babies instead of two! Any suggestions or things anyone did to make the transition smoother or get pass this trying time with a little less tears...from my eyes mainly..not theirs!!!
Nikia

Welcome Nikia!!

I would like to welcome Nikia to our group!! She is a dear friend of the family, whom I hope that I can get to know even better! She has a son, Garrett (almost 2), and a newborn, Emily. She is also a SAHM, after working for a while after Garrett was born.

Nikia---feel free to share anything else you would like us to know, and welcome to Happy Mommas!!!

Eczema

My son suffered with Eczaema..however his pediatrician prescribed a cream called Locoid Lipocream. It works wonders. You use it for one week and then stop..if the rash comes back you continue for another week! Its about 40.00 for a little tube but it works wonders!! Hopefully it helps you too!!

Suggestions for Eczema

Well, I am pretty positive Adyson has eczema. It started out just on her hands between her index finger and thumb now it is in small patch all over her hands and legs. I have seen two pediatricians who have both said it was mild(that was before now) and to just put lotion on her. My mom gave me this great lotion she uses for her mild eczema, St Ives Whipped silk, and I use a eczema baby bath(the one with Winnie the Pooh on the bottle) but sense it is becoming more of a problem, I wonder if there is something better out there. Does anyone know of anything?

I know nothing of eczema, I need to do some research, is it caused by anything or irritated in certain ways?

I am debating on going back to the doctor. Should I?

Flylady.net

Thank you Sara for sharing the website, flylady.net. I checked it out and had to make a post about it. It is fantastic! Now, I just need to commit to do it! For those of you that have not checked it out, it is only for those that live in CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome). Sorry, to those that do not, at least from time to time, deal with this, you are not invited!

Jugglers

We all have balls that we juggle. Ball=kids Ball=husband Ball=housework Ball=exercise Ball=church responsibilities Ball=self improvement Ball...
You get my drift, the list could go on and on and all our lists would be different. I have been thinking a lot about what balls I have had in my hands and what time I am spending juggling each one. And I am thinking about all the balls sitting beside me waiting to be picked up. The ones I really want to pick up. I can't help but think I need more hands, more time, ect, ect...
Oh, how I wish I could grow a third or fourth hand or somehow find three more hours or days. I guess I need to prioritize. But how can you when we have been asked and told all these 'balls' are important and worth us juggling.

Which brings me to think about which balls are good, which are better, and which are the best to be juggling. (talk by Oaks)

I need to keep striving to find my happy and content juggler because right now I am not juggling to my hearts content.

A friend sent this to me...I had to share!

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up.

Then she says, 'Did it ever occur to you that the only place that baby can reach to get water is the toilet?'

Something funny. While my kids haven't done this or anything like, I have friends who's kids have done similar things....

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.

" Hello "

"Is your daddy home?" he asked.

" Yes ," whispered the small voice.

May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, " No ."

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"

" Yes ."

"May I talk with her?" Again the small voice whispered , "

"No ."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leav e a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"

" Yes ," whispered the child, "a policeman ".

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

" No, he's busy ", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

" Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman ," came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

" A helicopter " answered the whispering voice.

"What ! is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered,

" The search team just landed a helicopter ."

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle... "ME ."

Mood changers for toddler days

1. Create a grouping of noise-makers. You can use traditional instruments (i.e. kids' instruments you might have in the house) or look for things that make unique noises in your house (pan "drums," etc.). Turn on marching music and march around the house. Go under and over unusual things as you march (i.e. under the desk/chair/table, over a big pillow, etc.).

2. Pull up a chair, don aprons and make these easy muffins together. Eat them outside or in a fort or on the floor... Somewhere different.

3. Draw a big bubble bath at an unexpected time of the day. Dump in loads of plastic containers from your Tupperware/re-use drawer and see what the play brings.

4. Find seasonal items, string them together on yarn and create a fantastic, nature mobile.

5. Make oobleck.

6. Create some activity centers together (start with one, make a new one the next day... pretty soon you'll be set!)

7. Collect art supplies (paint, crayons, paper, index cards etc.) and let go of everything you had planned. Mail this artistic bounty off the next day to grandparents and the like.

8. Grab a snack you don't often have (i.e. here it's graham crackers and juice) or stop by the bakery for a cookie. Go to a park, sit on a blanket and eat, then play a bit in a different space.

9. Depending on the weather: water plants outside, fill a spray bottle with water and experiment with different sprays, run in the sprinkler, etc. Is it raining? Dress appropriately and go out any way. See if you can stomp in twenty puddles. Watch how different objects splash in different ways (rock vs. leaf vs. pine cone, etc.). Do #3 when you return, if necessary!

10. Use chalk to draw a huge train track or road system all around your house, leading to your front door. Walk or ride all along it, draw lots of trains/cars or bring out your own small vehicles to enjoy the new pathways.

11. Crank up the music (stuff you like too) and dance, boogy, shake, wiggle. If you need a little wiggle guidance the tried and true preschool Greg & Steve CDs are favorites for many young kids (check them out from your library-- a little scary, but a worthy sacrifice to improve the direction of your day together).

12. Grab a big tote and visit the library. Find lots and lots and lots of books. Return home to cuddle and read on the couch (or on the grass outside as weather permits!).

13. Create a fort or pop up a tent in the middle of your living room. Stock it with snacks, water, books, stuffed animal friends...

14. Make colored pasta noodles (step one, step two) together.

15. Make play dough together and then smush, build, roll, squeeze... create.

16. Wander through your yard or neighborhood and create a seasonal display.

17. Scroll through the Kids Craft Weekly newsletters for a topic you both enjoy. Find an activity and just do it!

18. Fill the kitchen sink (or a big, plastic tub) with dish soap and warm water. Collect small creatures (we like Little People, our Schleich animals, etc.) and a washcloth and scrub everyone clean (any water play requires you to be very close, but you knew that).

19. Move some toys around. Never underestimate the power of toys in a new location (i.e. the play kitchen in the middle of the living room, toys from the closet front and center for an afternoon, etc.).

20. Play dress-up! If you don't have specific dress up clothes, dress up like Mama or Daddy or Grandma... Find winter hats and gloves in the summer. Dig deep for crazy shoes. Be silly.

21. Make colorful maraca shakers (scroll down to #2).

22. Turn some old socks into puppets. You can draw on them with markers, or get fancy and sew on button eyes. Glue yarn for hair. A curtain rod in a doorway can become a magical puppet theater with a few cuts of an old sheet, or even just with draped fabric. Use a hot glue gun to create a pocket in the fabric for the rod, if you don't want to sew, or you can even just pin it in place. Just make sure you can open and close the theater curtains (that's the only really important part!).

23. Throw a reading party for all of your stuffed animal friends (and dolls and anyone else who wants to join in the fun). Place them all around the living room, give them each a book and then read a few yourselves. When everyone's done you can all take a nap (requiring a blanket for each) or give them all a drink (imaginary, of course) of water (requiring a cup for each). Multiples. It's more fun than you'd think.

24. Call someone to play with you. They likely won't care if the house is a mess. If it's too bad, go outside to play or meet at a playground. Just adding other people to the mix can change a mood (throw in a snack or two and you're set).

25. Make a life-size body outline and color it in. Hang it on the wall.

26. Clean out the refrigerator together. Exhausting. Distracting.

27. Cut (or tear) out fun pics from old magazines.

28. Create glue art (lots o' Elmer's, cotton balls, cake sprinkles, etc.).

29. If you have a peanut-friendly house (as in, everyone's already tried it and is not allergic), collect pine cones, tie string around them and smear with peanut butter for the birds. Hang outside.

30. Head outside to putter with a camera. The adult focuses on getting fantastic pics of the child without interrupting play, and the kid gets to explore. It's interesting for both (parallel play).

31. Print some kid pics and staple them (or tie through hole punches) together to make a mini-book. Talk about what the child is doing in each picture and write a simple sentence below. Read it together.

32. Sort through buttons together. Categorize in different ways. Look for special things. Count holes. Talk about big, small, bright, bumpy, smooth...

33. Use paint and make apple prints on paper (or try other fruits and veggies... Star fruit is fun!).

34. Just find a way to get out of the house. Find a shopping cart and browse. This is when you're really desperate. Get coffee while you're at it.

35. Take everything out of a closet, from under a bed, etc. and sort through it together.

36. Paint hands and make hand prints. You can later add details to turn these into flowers (stem and leaves), turkeys, etc. (seasonal fun).

37. Create an obstacle course in the house or yard (with pillows, small stools, etc.).

38. Go through the house or yard or neighborhood and collect items to make a texture book/wall/gallery (focusing on touch...).

39. Make crowns for the family out of paper, newsprint, felt and/or tin foil.

40. Decorate the dinner table together to make an ordinary meal special. Streamers, flowers from the garden, maybe a tablecloth or special place mats, fold the napkins in a fancy way... Do it all together to make something routine special.

41. Play hide and seek. Start with stuffed animals and find them together, then work up to each other.

42. String fruity-o cereal (or the pasta from #14) together to make necklaces (always keep a close eye on little kids with necklaces, but you knew that).

43. Finger (or foot) paint.

44. Make a terrarium (you can keep it super-easy with moss, sticks and a figure). If you use fancy plants make sure they're safe.

45. Try stacking different types of objects. See how high you can go with blocks, books, thread spools, magazines, pillows, etc.

46. Plant some bean seeds in clear, plastic cups or glass baby food jars. Avocado seeds are fun too.

47. Make popsicles, a snack food in an ice cube tray and/or jello jigglers together.

48. Glue a favorite magazine picture onto cardboard, then punch holes (use an office-style three hole punch for bigger pieces, and randomly place holes). Use a child's plastic needle with yarn (or tape the end to make it firm) and practice lacing.

49. Make your own matching game with photos. The best photos for this have only one, clear, well-loved person/object in them. Print out two of each (for maybe a total of six to eight to start?) and lay them out, face up to start out. It's early "Memory."

50. Set up various pouring activities in an OK-to-be-messy place. Collect various pitchers, cups, bowls and measuring spoon sets and use either water, lentils, beans or rice (or combinations). A smaller plastic tub set inside a bigger plastic tub can contain some of the spillage.

OK. Those are some of the things we try when new molars, colds and inclement weather try to bring us down. Nothing terribly new or fascinating, but we have fun. Do you have other things to add? I wanted a list of 100 to print out as a reminder. These are all super-friendly for the just turning two set.

I found this while looking at blogs. Here is original post.

Upset tummies

Tye has only really thrown up twice in his life...and the second time was tonight. I think he had way too much sugar at the restaurant we went to tonight, on top of the fact that he refuses to chew his food...so full bites of boiled chicken were in there...along with half chewed cherries, and whatever else he had to eat. It was horrible. The sad part was, that I heard him calling me from my room, so I go in there and he just looks at it and says yucky. We get everything cleaned up, and he comes to bed with me. He watches tv for a few minutes, then I turn it off and tell him he needs to sleep. He tossed and turned, so I finally brought him to Michael who was still up. I turned around and got halfway downstairs and heard it...the dreadful sound of (well, I won't go into details). So, we did it all over again, and now he is sitting up watching Nemo. I felt so bad trying to get him undressed to bathe him, though, because I kept gagging...I finally had to wrap a towel around my nose to finish. He was shaking he was so cold, and I was doing the best I could, but it wasn't fast enough, poor little baby. Well, that was my fun for the evening. I'm going to try going to bed again!

Brain Freeze

Lately I have had absolutely no idea what to do with my kids for fun. There is something about winter that seems to erase my imagination completely. It is just too cold to play outside. The other night I came up with a few things that we could do, but I knew that in the morning, when I looked out the window and saw all of the snow I would completely forget everything. I decided it would be fun to write each idea down and make a paper chain out of them. So, Jacob and I got to work thinking of ideas that would be fun for the three of us to do. On the days that the kids (and I) are feeling restless Jacob and Luke get to pull a link off. Some of the ideas are really simple but there is something about the activity being 'special' that my kids love. Here are a few things we added to our list: have a pretend birthday party, do 20 jumping jacks, make cookies, call an old friend, watch a movie together with popcorn, make our own storybook, do something nice for someone, read 10 books in a row, make playdough. As I think of more I add them to our chain.

I would love any suggestions from all of you clever readers. What do you do for fun with your kids?

One-Armed Super-Mom!

Okay....I admit it. I am one of those mothers who refuses to ask anyone for help and says to herself, "I can handle this!" What is it they preach to us at church.....the proud will be COMPELLED to be humble? Well the past couple days, life went ahead and smeared vaseline all over my firm grip on life. Bart is preparing to take the bar exam (for the 4th time) in a few weeks. He is now a possessed man and I have let him have his complete freedom to do whatever he has to in order to try and make this our last year of aggravation. Soooooo.....I have set upon the task of being mom AND the dad imposter. So far, the kids have turned into rebels without a cause, whining at everything...and I do mean everything like even asking to please pass the milk with about 10 up and down distress pitches. Skyla has decided to perfect the art of temper tantrum throwing and I admit she has achieved greater heights than any of the others. At the store she wanted a huge package of gum. When I declined to make the purchase for her she proceeded to rip out both her ponytails, jumped and screamed while making three revolutions, slapped me on the butt, threw herself on the floor, kicked off both her shoes and thrashed like a fish out of water. It was like we were at the Oscar's.......except not one of the audience members was giving applause or handing us an award. So we took our show on the road--literally. I pushed the cart through the parking lot with one arm while dragging her with the other as she continued to wail and arch her back all the way to the suburban. As I unloaded our groceries from the cart into the back of the vehicle, onlookers must have thought some sort of brothel was going on in there with all the bouncing it was doing along with steamed over windows and high pitched screams.

On top of the joys of motherhood, I have also decided to take on the task of caring for my 88-year-old grandmother. (My dad is originally from Fort Worth and his father is buried here). So she is relocating from Idaho to a nursing home here about 4 miles from where Bart and I live. I think this will be a good thing once all is settled because on the occasions we have had to go to the retirement home, a miraculous event happens. Not one of my children set a toe out of line. They smile politely and shake everyone's hand and stay completely quiet, whispering only when they need to speak. I'm trying to get us on the waiting list for a lease.
Well right now it is chaotic because my dad just wants to send her on a plane and told me to buy cheap furniture on craigslist for her so he doesn't have to come with a U-Haul. Well last night I went to pick up a loveseat. Bart had told me to call him so he could help me to move it. He has made the offer with all our other purchases (dining table, desk, dresser, TV, Entertainment center, bed) but Bayley and I have managed to move everything ourselves. And I do have to admit, I took a lot of pleasure in Bart's jaw-dropping when he would see what we had managed to do all by ourselves. We backed the suburban into the driveway (with Skyla having a meltdown because of unfair dispensing of some teddy grahams), and I told Bayley to help me lower half of the loveseat from the back of the suburban onto the driveway. I misjudged the length of the thing thinking it was longer than it really was so when I gave it a nice yank, I had a split second to see it was coming all the way out and down and shove Bayley out of the way. I hit the ground landing on my back and the loveseat came down on me with the bulk of the weight landing on my chest. My sweet Bayley was frantic to help rescue me and I managed to worm my way out with his help. I tried to sit up but felt this horrible stabbing pain on my right side. It took me only a couple seconds to find the rippling bump along my ribs. Bart came home and the doctor said there is nothing to do with cracked ribs. I go in on Monday to find out how many broke and to make sure no other organs are being poked by any fragments. So here I sit trying to not lift anything and trying to ignore the new toy and clothes arrangement in the living room and hallway.

I am so thankful for my sweet friends here in Crowley who are coming on Monday to be my right arm for me--even though most of me just feels so guilty that they are having to help me. And Skyla has even shown some empathy by "gently" swatting my backside while being defiant. I'll rest for now and wait for all your favorite ideas on how to break 2-year-olds of bad tempers and outright defiance...........;o)

Making a difference in a teenagers life. Part 2

Here's part 1

All I can say is being a parent to a teenager is A LOT of work. More than the feeding, diaper changing, and patience it takes with toddlers and infants at home.

To catch you up...

My niece has been living with us for three or four months now. We switched her school this week, our idea--her decision. To get her a fresh start in a new environment. She has been attending more and more church functions upon our request with out too much resistance. We had to ground her once for skipping and failing in school. She brought all her grades up and since has not skipped to my knowledge. She is doing great!!

The Problem:

She still has one fight with us(me) on a regular basis. Going to friends houses I have asked her to stay away from. I have even made an effort to let her hang out elsewhere...here and at the movies. She knows how to play the game well. Giving enough information then leaving the rest out. Situation: Dad(my brother) picks her up Friday night to stay with him, or so I thought, and was told. Less than an hour later I get a call from her mom "did you know Samantha is at this friends house?" "No." and that was the truth. "I thought we talked about this?" Now I am getting the third degree from my X-sister in law..."We did, I will call and take care of it." Call Sam...no answer, she is avoiding me. Call Dad (my brother)...bright with sunshine "Hi, Is Sam around?" "No, I dropped her off at a friends(notice he didn't say who)." Still miss sunshine, "Oh, what friends? I just tried to call her." He tells me who. "Oh, well I thought we agreed she could not go there?" My brother, "Not for short periods of time, no..." (a lie, I later find out he actually gave her permission to spend the night) "Well she was being sneaking telling me she was going with you tonight then having you drop her off. I do not appreciate it." I am a little annoyed at him because he is also being selective with his words(lying). "She probably just left her phone somewhere I will track her down and talk to her about it." "I'll try again, Thanks." The second time she picked up and I asked her what the heck is going on. We went back and forth for 20 minutes. Finally I told her she couldn't stay the night like her father had given permission and to call him to pick her up. Samantha refuses so I call. He say he will. A while later I find out he is still allowing her to stay! SO, I tell her no she can not and Jess is picking her up.

This same thing has happen numerous times. And today I really was tired of it. My brother, her dad will be hearing from me again and it won't be pleasant. Maybe the chewing I am going to give him might finally change something.

Thanks for listening.

My aunt sent me this and I thought it was cute...

JUST A MOM?

A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk Office
Was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation.

She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.

"What I mean is" explained the recorder,
"do you have a job or are you just a......?"

"Of course I have a job," snapped the woman.


"I'm a Mom."

"We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation, 'housewife' covers it,"
Said the recorder emphatically.


I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the
Same situation, this time at our own Town Hall.

The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised,
Efficient and possessed of a high sounding title like,
"Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."


"What is your occupation?" she probed.

What made me say it?
I do not know.
The words simply popped out.
"I'm a Research Associate in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations."

The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and
Looked up as though she had not heard right.


I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words.
Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written,
In bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.

"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest,
"just what you do in your field?"

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice,
I heard myself reply,
"I have a continuing program of research,
[what mother doesn't)
In the laboratory and in the field,
(normally I would have said indoors and out).
I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family)
And already have four credits (all daughters).
Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities,
(any mother care to disagree?)
And I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it)
But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are
More of a satisfaction rather than just money."

There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she
Completed the form, stood up and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career,
I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3.
Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model,
(a 6 month old baby) in the child development program,
Testing out a new vocal pattern.
I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy!
And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than
"just another Mom." Motherhood!


What a glorious career!
Especially when there's a title on the door.


Does this make grandmothers
"Senior Research associates in the file d of
Child Development and Human Relations"
And great grandmothers
"Executive Senior Research Associates"?
I think so!!!
I also think it makes Aunts "Associate Research Assistants".

"NO"

Why is it I hear this word a couple of dozen times a day? Why is it after every instruction or question I have for my three year old? And why does it make my nerves boil and create a rush of frustration that makes me want to scream?

Have you ever had ONE of THOSE days

You know there's day it takes you like 5 visits to a friends blog, because every time you sit down you have to get right back up. Or you get on the phone to talk to a friend, because it's been forever, but the whole time you're asking the kids to just give you a minute. Today isn't like that at all for me.... this is my day so far:
You know it's going to be one of those days when you get maybe an hour of sleep because your head feels like it's going to explode and you can't breathe. On top of that, one of the kids isn't feeling well. I must say, that today takes the cake. While cleaning up a nasty spilled over diaper from Bryleigh in her crib (the runny kind), she pukes everywhere! While I'm stripping her bed and throwing the stuff in the wash, I come out to find she's puked everywhere in the Family Room and is playing in it. Yep! That's my day so far. Then, awhile after I get the table cleaned, the floor cleaned, toys cleaned and throw the puked on blankets in the wash from that- she's now had one of those diapers that "explodes/runs", everywhere. Yep! There's runny crap all over her, me and I gave up and just threw the clothes I am NOT going to clean away.

I just thought I'd share how my day is going.... did I mention I feel like crap! I hope you guys get a laugh out of this. My friend Melissa and I already had a great laugh at it.....

I'm not complaining, I just wanted to bring humor to someone else who knows how my days going. While it would be nice to yell, or curse or throw a toddler temper tantrum, I'm just laughing at everything.... whatelse can I do.

Beautiful Moment

I met with a psychiatrist, and he agreed that I am battling Post Partum depression, and he prescribed me a new anti-depressant. Unfortunately, I am not able to continue nursing. It was an easy decision, but difficult to actually commit to it. I nursed Tye until his 1st birthday, and planned on doing so with Kenadie, but I am not in a frame of mind to be able to continue. To those of you that have breastfed, you know what I am going through. I feel like I have let her down in my warped thinking. I know this is for the best, and I also know that babies do not have to be breastfed, but, I still find it hard to feel at peace with it. Michael captured our last time nursing and I will treasure it forever.

Breast Cancer Awareness

It seems as though every time I turn around, I hear of someone else battling breast cancer. Amy and I dealt with our mother having it, and, thankfully, she successfully won the fight and is cancer-free. Although she has to deal with the scars that the awful cancer left behind, she is a great example to me with how strong she was through it all. I know it was really tough on her, but her kids very rarely saw how bad it really was. I came across this background, and wanted to use it to keep up the constant awareness. I really believe that with my generation, it is not if we get cancer, but when and what kind. Try to keep awareness up, and donate to research when you can...you may personally need it one day. So, with all that said, I have changed our background to pink with the ribbon, in honor of my mom, and the toughest battle she fought and won.

Ordinary Miracle

Something to watch during times of struggle.......love all or you!

Merry Christmas!!

I just wanted to tell you wonderful Mom's I hope you have a very Merry Christmas!! Take the time to slow down a bit and enjoy the moment with your kiddos, and hubby's. Most importantly, take some time for yourself to enjoy the wonderful blessings that come this time of year!! You're all wonderful Moms!

Autism Awareness

I hope that I'm doing the right thing by posting this. But, I felt like it was something that needed to be said. I'm not trying to scare anyone. I just think that it's a very important topic, especially for mothers of young children. As most of you know, Lily has been diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder. Before Lily was born, the only thing I knew about autism was "Rainman" or stories of children who just sat in a corner all day and flapped their hands and never looked at anyone. I had no idea that those are just a couple of ways that autism can present itself. It is a spectrum disorder, which means that children present symptoms many different ways. Some are at one end of the spectrum and are quite severe and others are mildly affected.

Coult and I knew from the time Lily was just a few months old that something about her was different, but we were always told that we were making a mountain out of a molehill. Even the therapists from Early Intervention told us that since she smiled, she couldn't have autism. We found out later that that is one of the many myths out there about autism.

It turns out that our initial instincts about Lily were correct. At the age of 3, she was diagnosed with pdd-nos, which is a form of high-functioning autism. With autism, early intervention is so important. Getting Lily's diagnosis was actually a relief in some ways because it validated what Coult and I had been thinking for several years. Lily was unable to "connect" with us and it was heartbreaking. She has become better able to "connect" with others as she has gotten older, but there are still clearly deficits in that area. Some days are harder than others, but she continues to improve.

I wish that we had known the early warning signs of autism and maybe we wouldn't have listened to the doctors who told us not to worry so much and we could have gotten help for her and us sooner. Autism can be a very isolating disorder for parents as well at the children affected by it. I wanted to share the early warning signs with all of you so that you can make sure that you keep an eye on your children, just in case. Some pediatricians will ask these questions, but many are so afraid of mentioning the "A" word, that they avoid alerting parents to a potential problem. Of course, even if a baby shows any of these signs, it doesn't mean that they have autism. They need to be evaluated by someone trained in recognizing autism. Again, I'm not trying to scare anyone. I just really feel that getting the word out about autism is so important. Here is an article I found that lists some of the things to watch for:

"Autism Warning Signs

Autism is a spectrum disorder. The symptoms and characteristics of autism can present themselves in a wide variety of combinations, from mild to severe. Although there are many signs, by one year of age, any child who:

* does not point
* does not engage with others
* has little or no eye contact
* does not babble or begin to use words

should be referred to a developmental specialist.

According to the Autism Society of America, many children and adults with autism may make eye contact, show affection, smile and laugh, and demonstrate a variety of other emotions, although in varying degrees. Like other children, they respond to their environment in both positive and negative ways.

Every person with autism is an individual, and like all individuals, has a unique personality and combination of characteristics. People with autism process and respond to information in unique ways. In some cases, aggressive and/or self-injurious behavior may be present. Persons with autism may also exhibit some of the following traits.

* Insistence on sameness; resistance to change
* Difficulty in expressing needs; uses gestures or pointing instead of words
* Repeating words or phrases in place of normal, responsive language
* Laughing, crying, showing distress for reasons not apparent to others
* Prefers to be alone; aloof manner
* Tantrums
* Difficulty in mixing with others
* May not want to cuddle or be cuddled
* Little or no eye contact
* Unresponsive to normal teaching methods
* Sustained odd play
* Spins objects
* Inappropriate attachments to objects
* Apparent over-sensitivity or under-sensitivity to pain
* No real fears of danger
* Noticeable physical over-activity or extreme under-activity
* Uneven gross/fine motor skills
* Not responsive to verbal cues; acts as if deaf although hearing tests in normal range.

There are many myths and misconceptions about autism. Contrary to popular belief, many autistic children do make eye contact; it just may be less or different from a non-autistic child. Many children with autism can develop good functional language and others can develop some type of communication skills, such as sign language or use of pictures. Children do not "outgrow" autism but symptoms may lessen as the child develops and receives treatment."

I encourage all of you to be aware of these signs so that IF you ever feel that there is a problem, you won't hesitate to have your child evaluated. Autism isn't the end of the world, but it isn't something that can/should be ignored either. Regardless of Lily's disorder, I wouldn't change her for anything. We are learning a lot due to autism, such as: Never take anything for granted. When your child says "I love you Mommy!", treasure those words because there are parents out there who never or very rarely hear those precious words. If you see a child misbehaving in public, don't assume it's the result of bad parenting. Maybe the child has autism and the parents are doing the very best they can. I firmly believe that Lily was sent to this earth to our family with this disorder for a reason. I don't think that she is supposed to learn something from it so much as our family is supposed to learn from it. She may never be accountable, but we will be. I hope that we don't let her down.

No more diaper rash...

After 2 years and 2 babies of study, I think I can pretty confidently say that my mother-in-law knows what she is doing when she constantly slathers Desitin on my kiddos booties! For a long time with Tye, it just kindof annoyed me (sorry, Lois!!). But, then I started thinking about it, and I realized that Tye had NEVER had a diaper rash. Well, he had a very small one that popped up one morning after an antibiotic, and was gone by that evening. Tye is now 2, and I continue to try to put Desitin on him periodically. Kenadie is 7 months, and I put Desitin on her, and same thing...never had a diaper rash. It may be coincidence, but I really believe that Desitin is the reason neither one of them had diaper rashes, when I have friends who battle it constantly with their kids. It's worth a try, though, if you have little ones in diapers!

Finding Strength in Personal Struggles

I was very touched by Sara's very candid and open expression of feelings. I know she was one of the VERY few people who showed no negative reactions or rejection toward me when I was in one of the absolute lowest points (emotionwise) in my life. I always thought the only reason was just because of her loving, friendly nature. I never imagined that along with that there was real empathy for what I was feeling.
I hope to maybe put some positive thoughts out there just based on things I have learned personally with struggling with RAD (reactive attachment disorder) and depression. (Very briefly....RAD is a psychiatric disorder where the emotional part of your brain lacks electrical impulses connecting to your conscience--basically, without medication I have no real feelings toward OTHER human beings). However, I have certainly always been aware of MY feelings so depression has always been my off and on companion. I learned to cope by "imitating" what other people do affectionately. You say "I love you" I say it too. You smile and give a hug......I smile and give a hug. You tell me about a big problem in your life, I better come up with a bigger one in mine--if there isn't any big problem I could make one up and feel no guilt about lying. I would only feel bad about the rejection I would get when people would get fed up with me due to inability to trust or understand me. What a difference in my life when I was finally convinced by family and friends to get help. I can't believe the change in my feelings when that bridge was gapped with proper medication. I actually feel things in my heart and tummy when I hug my kids or talk with someone I care about.
Why am I telling y'all this? I learned something about emotions in terms of biology. When women are pregnant, the neurological impulses between your emotional center and conscience increase. (I always functioned better pregnant). Hence, we cry at everything, see danger everywhere, want everything perfect...... However, once the baby is born, the process reverses and the body basically spirals into a tailspin until it can rebalance out. It is different in every person. Some of us bounce back right away and the "postpartum depression" doesn't last long. Sometimes it takes months or years for the brain to regulate all the hormones and signals. This is why some people only need medication for a short period of time vs. others who need it longer. Depends on how soon your body starts functioning on a normal basis again. Point being is there are valid reasons for feeling depression or detached. So.....what to do about it?
Well the first step is being honest about how you feel. If you had a stomach bug you wouldn't go into denial and say, "No.....it doesn't really hurt." I feel badly that we all seem to think we need to hide other kinds of pain. There's no way to get better until we are willing to admit there is a problem. After being honest it is important to have support. Not necessarily ADVICE, just support. Our bodies and minds and spirits are unique, we can't tell each other how to get better or do better, just love each other and help that person with what is right for her. I have a close friend here in Ft. Worth and I love her to death because she always says to me, "I love you and I'm here for you." And she is, even if it is just that....simply being there. Some of our best get togethers have been nearly total silence (LOL).
On a spiritual level, I found new meaning in 2 Nephi 4:18-21. I never imagined Nephi being someone who was depressed.....but he was. What got him through? I interpret it in the latter verse, "my God hath been my support...." I think that has been a huge, hard concept for me to grasp. Knowing HOW to let God be my support. There is a great book by Philip A. Harrison called Clean Hands, Pure Heart. It is written by a man who overcame addiction to pornography but it really could apply to any negative thing plaguing us in life. I applied it to my battle with depression and negativity because even with medication I STILL have to find ways to deal with those feelings when they arise. The first two chapters in this book are "Undoing the Lies About God" and then "Undoing the Lies About Ourselves". I recommend every single christian human being read these two chapters. Especially if you struggle to see yourself as being personally loved by God or truly understanding the meaning of having infinite worth. It is a great catalyst for getting yourself thinking about how you really view God (stern disciplinarian ready to punish the first bad behavior, or loving father who understands you completely and waits for your communication on a daily basis, or somewhere in between)? It also helped me see in a different way how Satan works. Not as a stalker whispering dastardly deeds we could do in our ear, but is compared to a gardener of weeds. He takes a handful of seeds and maybe plants one in us and then waits and watches to see if we will pull it out and be rid of it, or cultivate it and let it grow. WE cultivate it and let it grow. Seeds he plants could be "you have no worth", "you are incapable", "you do no good". Sweet girls, throw it out if you start to feel that way! It's hard but even if the only thing that you can remember is that you are someone's daughter, or someone's mom, those two things are infinite. Those are the ONLY two titles no one can ever disclaim or stop being. Divorce can end some titles, we get released from callings, fired from jobs, but you will always be a daughter and a mother. So, there we have established we ARE something and have worth. We all gave birth to children.....that takes A LOT of capabilities to endure pregnancy and labor and delivery. I have seen beautiful children with happy faces on this blog--that isn't something that just happens. There are obviously moms nurturing, tending, and giving time. Our babies love us. They crave our attention and praise. Who cares if every single toy is out? It means your baby learned a lot about their environment and feels safe in exploring.
And finally, those negative nails out there who have all kinds of mothering advice.....find a special way to deal with them that works for you. As a mother of 5 I have encountered comments EVERY single time I venture out with them. I am often surprised how bold people are. I have decided to try to have something to say that will not be rude but will point out ignorance. Some of my favorites from recent outings.......
1. "Are you having any more????"
- Not today!

2."Oh my gosh, you have way too many kids!!!!"
-Please point to which ones you would give away.

3."Don't you know how that happens?"
-Would you mind explaining the details to make sure I've got it?

4."Wow, you have your hands full!"
-Only one, five makes up one hand.

5."You must spend all day chasing people!"
-Better than spending all day BEING chased by people.

6. Yesterday a lady at Kroger's asked me if all those children were mine. After I smiled and told her they were she loudly shouted "DEAR GOD!" My kids all looked at her and I said to them, "Please be reverent and we'll wait and see if this nice lady wants to finish her prayer out loud or in her head."

7. I was TOTALLY excited that Bart finally got some garbage dished up at him. Some jock-guy was commenting at Bart after seeing a picture of the kids in his office and saying, "Wow.....you must have a hard life. Look at you and look at me. I can have all the women and freedom I want because I look good, no kids, and have all my hair. So which one made you lose all your hair?"

Bart's response: "I believe my hair loss occurred during the years of my extensive college education and professional training. I'm not the least bit surprised that you are not missing a single hair."

Love all you ladies, and I hope each one of you knows how important your friendship, thoughts, feelings, accomplishments, and lives are to me!