Our little Avery who is four has started to tell lies. We have had numerous small instances over the last month or so. Today I realized it is becoming a problem...I left her and Ady for a few minutes and when I came back Ady had marker colored all over her face and arms. I asked what happened and who colored all over Ady. Avery immediately said Ady did it to herself, but guess who was holding the open marker in her hands...Avery. Which you could say Avery took the marker away from Ady but with all the marks on Ady's face they just could not have been self inflicted by a 17 month old with no hand gripping coordination. I asked Avery again who colored with marker all over Ady? This time the answer was one of her friends, I asked a third time, telling Avery to be honest. Once again the answer changed and she actually named a friend...who unfortunately for Avery was not present at the time(we were home alone). I placed Avery in time out. I talked with Avery about not coloring on Ady then expressed that we never tell lies or make up stories. I really doubt the message got though, since for one it caught me off guard I don't think I did my best in this instance and two I had to direct Avery's attention to me talking to her a few times...I think it may be time for a FHE on lies and honesty. Any good stories or ideas to help me teach Avery about being honest.
The Six "Be's"- Gordon B. Hinckley
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
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No advice right now, but if you get some, let me know! Tye is already starting to lie, and not just little fibs, like an out and out lie...and he isn't even 2! (Oh--Avery's done a few things around our house occasionally when she was 4 hours away! lol) I don't know where kids learn to do that.
I don't know how you kept a straight face with Ady covered in marker. I guess that I am going to have to learn before my kids get older. :)
I can't remember exactly what we did when Natalie was going through this phase. But, I do remember that we did talk to her about the importance of telling the truth and we had several FHE lessons about honesty. I think it's just a preschooler phase that Avery is going through right now. She's testing her boundaries and asserting her independence. I'm not saying that you should ignore her lying or anything. Just keep explaining how telling the truth is important and eventually she will learn. She may learn the hard way when she tells you the truth about something and you don't believe her because she has lied one time too many. That happened with Natalie. She used to say she had stomach aches when she really didn't. One day she really did and we didn't believe her. She didn't get any sympathy until she threw-up and we realized that she was telling the truth that time. She learned then how important it is to be honest.
I'm going through a similar situation with Gabriel. I know he's seen a few cartoon shows that discuss honesty and I've tried to emphasize that when he goes in time out it is for lying to me (not necessarily for the other thing he did wrong). I try to get across to him that lying makes me sad, and Dada sad, and Heavenly Father sad. I'm not sure how much of it is getting through, but when I catch him in an obvious lie I ask him not to lie to me. Sometimes it takes several reminders, but eventually I get the truth and then I try and "reward" him somehow so that he sees it's better to tell the truth.
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