So, I was wondering about everyone's thought on a 12 year old having an email address. I know that I tend to be over-protective of Natalie because it's hard for me to believe that she's almost 12. I'm the secretary for our ward Young Women and I've been compiling their email addresses so that the Pres. can send them weekly calendar reminders. I was shocked to find that all the Beehives (including 12 year olds) have email addresses. I always thought that would be too young of an age. I also found out that there are several 11-12 yr olds in our ward that have Facebook. And these girls are from good families who seem to be up on safety, etc. Am I being a fuddy-duddy if I don't feel comfortable with Natalie having an email address, etc at this age? She is still so innocent and I'm trying to protect that as long as I can. I know she is going to be exposed to things that I don't approve up, but the later that happens, the better. We have talked with her about internet safety and all that, but it still makes me nervous. I mean, I have the strongest filter on my hotmail account, but I still get some porno emails in my junk mail file. This whole "growing up" thing really scares me. Natalie is at that awkward age where she's not quite sure if she wants to be a child or a pre-teen. It's very confusing for her and for us. I know there are a couple of moms here that have older children or who have raised their families already. Do you have any advice for me?
The Six "Be's"- Gordon B. Hinckley
Thursday, October 16, 2008
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Hi! This is the first time I've posted on this blog, but I do visit occasionally. I have got a 12 year old daughter (you know Julie from activity days) and an almost 15 year old boy who we just recently broke down and let them get email accounts. We chose g-mail through google and have nothing to complain about so far. I don't think there are any questionable ads (or any at all for that matter). I have to say it is so fun for Julie to correspond with her grandmas in CA or her cousins. Same with Brian. I think the settings are built in to block pictures sent in emails except the email addresses you approve etc. Hope this helps some -- we too were very wary of letting them do the email thing. Hope you are enjoying your new ward!
I don't know how much my advice is worth since I have small children but I often feel children have no need for strong internet use. (I have the same thoughts about cell phones)
But I also know it is a tool which everyone uses. And can be a good tool and skill. I think the best approach is waiting till they express the desire. If your 12 year old doesn't have the desire don't bring it up but if they do start asking and you feel they are at a appropriate stage in life(maturity) then be VERY involved and make specific guidelines that the whole family follows for computer use.
Start experimenting with different filters and resources out there for protection before you put you child on the internet. One suggestion I have for a rule is to not allow your child to sign their email addresses on advertisements or to get free stuff because that is one fast way to start getting junk that is often obscene, maybe even go as far as only let email be used as correspondence with family and friends(that they know in person).
As for facebook, it is clean. I have one, you should get one first if you are thinking of allowing your children to get one become familiar with it...Myspace definitely NO WAY! It is not a place for children or adults for that matter! I have one of those too and only because my nieces and nephew are on there and I like to keep tabs on them. I have not been afraid to tell them to take down a picture or change a profile. I have done that a few times actually. And again #1 rule only talk or 'be friends' with people you know in person, there is just no need for the risk in making new friends over the internet.
Good Luck with the preteen and teenage years, it's scary.
Amy, I just realized that although I was thinking of your daughter Natalie -- who knows my daughter Julie -- while I was posting, I was also thinking of your sister Alisa who used to be the activity day leader before she moved (hence the comment about the new ward). Sorry about the mix up! :) Shelby
I would let her WITH your supervision. Bayley (who is 9) has to have one for school projects. The way I do it is I have the password to get in (he doesn't) and I check the posts with him....deleting anything unfamiliar without even opening it. So scary what they can be exposed to but I think the key is to teach them to be smart. I talk him through it like, "Oh, I don't know who that sender is so it is going straight into the trash." Good luck and always trust your momma gut-instinct. You are the expert since you know your kiddos best. Good luck! Let us know what you decide. I'm always looking for all the ideas possible to let my kids be progressive but safe and adequately protected.
Thanks for all the encouragement and advice! I love having this group to come to when I need some perspective on a particular issue.
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