I believe Nikia brought this up before, but I know that there is at least one other person dealing with this, so if anyone has any tips, they would be greatly appreciated!
When a new baby is born, the toddler loses all sense of reason. He acts out, and often resorts back to his "baby" ways. How do you show the toddler that you love him just as much as before, and he is still important to you??
The Six "Be's"- Gordon B. Hinckley
Thursday, July 17, 2008
When a toddler's jealousy is out of control...
Posted by Alisa at 8:49 PM
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Avery went through a little of this (with Jess)but it wasn't 'out of control' so I will give you some ideas but really I don't know if they'll help (because I have no real experience).
My thought is try to get some alone time every day with the child. Just you and them when you can play, read, hug, cuddle (show love). That way they'll still know you are there for them and love them the same as before.
Maybe ever a date once a week for a little while and if once a week is too much turn it into a once a month thing after you see some improvement. Jess used to take Avery on Daddy Daughter outings on Saturdays all the time and still does once in a while. They don't do anything huge just shop or lunch. He has even taken her to a gun show he wanted to go to. These give great opportunities to talk and bond.
They only other thought is to be consistent and let them know the boundaries. What appropriate and what not. It's tough to keep up with but like we talked about it really does show results.
Hope this helps. Good luck.
I don't have this problem yet but, my sister with six kiddos did. They have regular dates with their children - one child/month. The child can pick the activity (within reason) and the parent to accompany them.
Then, with toddlers, I've heard that giving them important jobs is handy. Sit them down and tell them that with the new baby you're extremely busy, stressed out, etc. and that you need their help because their such a big boy/girl. Ask them to do little things that will strengthen their bond with their new sibling - helping out at bath-time, helping to mix up the bottles, whatever you feel comfortable with...
I've seen my sister do it and it worked for her.
I like the "jobs" idea. I think that may be why Tye has adjusted so well. I like to let him help as much as possible, and it seems to make him happy. I think they need to know that it is "cooler" for them to be a "big boy" than a baby. I really think it comes down to attention. They just don't feel like they are getting enough, so then they act out, and what they get is negative attention. I feel for moms who go through this, and I hope that they can find support from friends and family members.
I say "ditto" to all the above, plus keep in mind that this is another stage, it is normal, and it will pass soon.
A good time to spend with your toddler could be when the baby is napping. Then, give all your mommy love!
I agree with the Important jobs as well. That really helped Bryce and it made him feel important. We also made one on one time with him as well. The combo of all these worked well for us, but he also was never out of control. I hope this helps. Oke ikharris-kolp said, it's also a stage. Sometimes how we react to them can set them off. I know when I get down on my kids' level and talk to them, that sometimes helps the situation for me. Really, spending some one on one time is the biggest thing I can recommend.
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