What are some of your successes with tantrums? I have a pretty good handle on Tye's, but sometimes they are completely out of control. I try to put him in his room if he gets too loud and obnoxious, but then he throws toys at the door and wall (and we are in a rent house).
I have had small tantrums out in public, but nothing too over-the-top. So, I can be pro-active, what are some of your successes that you have had with extinguishing tantrums??
The Six "Be's"- Gordon B. Hinckley
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Terrible Tantrums
Posted by Alisa at 2:17 PM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
ok believe it or not Avery has tantrums like this. when she gets too out of control i put her in her room like you say you do and i was having the same issues with throwing toys. so last week i went into her room after hearing toys hit the floor and walls...i picked up every toy that look our of place, ie thrown, and told her any toys she throws would be taken away. she didn't throw anymore toys and i kept the ones i place off limits in another room for a few days. we haven't had another episode since but i'll let you know if she continues with the throwing. i hope it stops.
That's a good idea, Mary! I think I will try this one. Also, does Avery go to her room, or do you have to physically put her there? Tye thrashes around when I try to put him in there, and, frankly, my back doesn't really appreciate it. So, I don't put him in there as often as I should. Maybe if I suffered through it a few times, it would get better, or he would learn he HAS to go there, whether on his own, or me dragging him there kicking and screaming!
oh also...this is in no means my success bc i don't think i have mastered this but the other day i thought to myself that i need to not let the tantrum, anger, or frustration get to the boiling point. sometimes i don't handle things calmly and defuse them properly and that is why we have blow ups like what i just described. any suggestions on how to actually do this...i dont know.
hahahha.....no i drag her kicking, screaming, thrashing and dropping her dead weight. we have a time out spot that we use in all occasions but when she will not sit there on her own then the alternative is locking her in her room.
My father watches my kids while I'm in school and has mentioned a couple of times when Gabriel has gotten mad about being corrected. He'll track Gabriel down and say he is sad that Gabriel has chosen to be mad. Surprisingly Gabriel usually comes responds by hugging my father and then acting as if nothing happened.
Now these are not full blown temper tantrums as far as I can tell, but it makes me think of this book I'm currently reading. I haven't actually read the part about tantrums, but it mentions that when tempers and frustration flair (in you and/or your child) the first step is to calm down and then realize (or help them realize) that anger and frustration are choices we make.
It also mentions that to react with anger typically sparks a confrontational mode in the child. Kinda reminds me of the way the Church leaders suggest dealing with people who confront us about our beliefs.
I thought I should post on this subject because of the experience I had with my youngest daughter, Sophie. When Sophie was very small - she was under a year old when this started (and about 3 1/2 when it stopped) - she started having fits. When I say "fits", I don't really mean a temper tantrum because temper had nothing to do with it. There was never a clear indication as to what set her off. Sometimes, I swear, she would just start with no provocation. What she would do is start to scream and cry, then it became slapping and biting me if I tried to hold her while she did this, then banging her head against the floor, etc. It was so distressing as a parent, I cannot really explain. Sometimes I would just cry. There was nothing I could do for her. She would become increasingly aggitated if I tried to intervene (I had tried holding her down, holding her and rocking her). Eventually I realized that she was not behaving in a "normal" fashion during these episodes. It was like she wasn't there - blank eyes, no normal response. And, to make things more perplexing, her normal personality was very happy and easy-going. As I talked with her pediatrician about it, she suggested we have her tested for bi-polar disorder. I have to admit, I balked at that idea - a year-old with bi-polar?! Besides the fact that I could not imagine stradling a toddler with that label, I just had a feeling that wasn't the problem.
To make a very long story short, as she grew, they became further and further apart. The last really bad one I remember was during a family vacation that had involved long hours in the car and some stressful moments for us as parents (not finding a hotel room for HOURS at one point). She screamed for about an hour and a half straight while we were in the car. Although she'd been doing this for a few years, this was one of the few that my husband witnessed. She was thrashing so much that it was hard to keep her in her seat. It was really awful. Oddly, when the fit was over, she would be calm as a summer's morning and, to her, it was as though nothing had happened - like she didn't even remember it.
In the end, I decided that it was some form of siezure disorder. The fact that she wasn't aware of them - either during or after - was my main clue. I also had another child who had a mild siezure disorder that she grew out of around the same age - totally different kind of siezure, though.
Anyway, my point to this is that, while some children have tantrums and ALL children have their moments, some children have issues unrelated to temper or things not going their way, and moms should be aware that screaming fits that seem abnormal - well, probably are.
In case you're wondering, Sophie is a super-smart, well-adjusted, sweet, imaginative little girl now (at 7). She shows no signs of any sort of disorder - and she has no recollection whatsoever of those hard days.
If you think there may be something beyond temper tantrums going on, ask your child's doctor! But listen to your own inner-voice as well. This is your child - your responsibility. Research it yourself. Be informed and do the best you can for your child. Above all - hang in there! Being a mom is a really hard job. Finding support in other moms is crucial. :) Great blog idea, Alisa!!
Post a Comment