I first want to thank Mary for having a link to this blog in her personal blog and the wonderful things I've been able to read about. I'm also grateful that I was invited to join so that I can participate fully.
I've been potty training my 3 1/2 year-old son and things went quickly thanks to the advice and help from family, friends, and a book recommended to me called Toilet Training in Less Than a Day. Then things started going backwards. Encouragement, rewards, and everything else that we tried seemed to have no effect as my son refused to even acknowledge that he needed to go potty (or had gone). The hope that he would transition out of "night-time underwear" (ie Pull-Ups) within a few months is dying quickly each time that he refuses to go to the bathroom first thing in the morning. I even have a hard time convincing him to change out of his dirty Pull-Ups and have had to resort to a rule stating that there is no breakfast or drinks until he does so. The low point came the day he insisted he watch his Elmo Potty movie twice in a row and then refused to use the toilet even once for the next two and a half days insisting that he'd had an accident like they talked about in the movie. While things have gotten a little better, it's an uphill battle (with my son everything is a battle right now) and it threatens to roll back to the bottom at a moments notice. In fact, the only time he wants to use the toilet is the 3 times (yes 3) in a row he insists he needs to go at bed time. What can we do?
The Six "Be's"- Gordon B. Hinckley
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Potty Training Woes
Posted by Unknown at 10:03 AM
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13 comments:
Take heart, according to my pediatrician you let them do it one their own time, they will let you know when they are ready. My boys still wear a night time diaper at night and they are 8 1/2.
potty training is a hard one....I almost think it's harder on the parent than the child. Night time takes some time and accidents can always happen though out his life. 3 1/2 years may seem to be getting old to be in diapers but it happens and some children it just takes longer. You still have time. Only you can read your child to know if he truly isn't ready or being stubborn.
It sounds like he likes to make his own decisions. I am not too creative but maybe think about... (without being coercive) give him the power by making him make the choice. Give him opportunities in which he is inclined/motivated to use the potty. Every kid has that 'thing' they will do anything for. Whether that thing be a coveted toy, ones own pride or feelings of accomplishment, ect...
I heard once that the secret (not just for potty training but applies) is to out smart your child...sounds simple enough but believe it or not, that is no easy task.
Good Luck, I will think of it more and try to come up with some good ideas.
My son was so hard to potty train. He was 4 1/2 before he was completly using the potty and staying dry. My mother-in-law always told me that I shouldn't worry too much because she had never heard of a child that went to Kindergarten in pull ups. And she was right! He did it on his own time.
My daughter on the other hand, does well during the day but horrible at night. She is 3 1/2 and is still wearing a night time pull up.
My son still has an accident every once in a while. We treat it as an accident and he knows that we are never mad about it.
Just don't stress youself too much about it. Some children pick it fast and others take their time. If you force it they will regress. Just continue to offer the potty through out the day. If they say no, then don't push it. If they say yes, celebrate! Even if they don't do anything on it. It's an acomplishment if they sit on it.
Karen...we will have to email each other on this one. Tye turned 3 on the 8th of Dec, and we just went in for his 3yr checkup, and my pedi said we really need to start working on it...easy for him to say! I have heard the kindergarten thing several times, so we have hope there! My pedi suggested the "naked weekend" and his patients have had about a 95% success rate with that. I can tell you I am not looking forward to this, but I know it must be done! I will email you and we can encourage each other!
Potty training is a full time job. It takes over your life for at least a week. But, it is worth it. The most important thing I've learned after potty-training two kids (one with autism) is that they aren't going to do it until they want to do it. Just try it for a while and if it's not working, take a break for a few weeks and try again. My oldest did much better once we put panties on her and she had an accident and saw it running down her leg. That freaked her out and she started using the potty much better from then on. My youngest didn't really care if she was wet or whatever and we had to get a bit more creative with her. We wrote a simple book about using the potty and she was the main character. She still loves that book! Patience is certainly a virtue when it comes to potty-training. Good luck and just remember that it will eventually work!
A couple of other ideas: Get a couple of new toys or books and put them by the potty. Only let your son play with them when he is sitting on the potty. I read this in a book about training special needs children and it seemed to help. It encourages the child to want to go to the potty and also to sit there longer. But, don't give in and let him have the toys/books at any other time or he will lose interest in them. Also, we found that putting up a picture of a potty on the bathroom door and letting our youngest daughter put stickers on it everytime she went to the potty helped too. She wasn't into getting candy as a reward, but she loved the stickers.
I did the same thing with the toys by the potty. I even let avery keep one if she actually went. It worked great for us.
Obgyn told me the same thing about letting them go naked. I never did it but it's worth a try if you are running out of idea. Be ready for messes, especially with a boy. (not that I have experience by I figure it's that way)
;)
I did everything I could and read every book I could on potty training for my son. We worked on it for a year before he did it. He's 4 now and that's when he decided he wanted to do it. I learned w/ him that if he wasn't ready to do it, then we're not doing it. It didn't matter what I offered or took away, he wouldn't do it. He himself had to feel ready. It wasn't until his friends in his church class and his cousin started going on the toilet that he decided he wanted to do so as well. I know it's frustrating, but hang in there. He will decide to do it. The first time Bryce really did he hyped it up big time. He's had a few times where he's had accidents, and so I started a rewards chart for him. To help him understand that, I let him pick a prize out of the prize box the first time he went. Now he knows that every time he goes he gets a sticker on his chart and when he fills up his chart he gets to pick out another prize.
Good luck!! I know how you're feeling.
Oh, I forgot to add the naked rule-it did NOT work for us. Boys love being naked and Bryce would just pee on the ground. I know of some people it worked for. It seems to work better on girls than boys (from what I've heard).
Thank you for all the advice. We've had moderate success with the stickers (but the successes ended up usually being at bed time and we'd forget to put a sticker on in the madness of getting kids in bed). I'm happy to note that he's had two dry days in a row (daytime, regular underwear only... still having issues with his keeping his pull-ups dry first thing in the morning). It's been a matter of encouraging him to go when we notice any signs.
Alisa, I honestly really liked the book and I'm pretty sure it will work well when my daughter is ready, but my son is extremely stubborn (SARCASM ALERT!!) unlike his parents ;). Three of my friends have also had great success with it. Of two other friends who tried the naked method, only one had success and it was with a girl (she had a sensory disorder and the visual matching with the sensation of needing to go is what kick started the process).
It's still an ongoing process, but I'm just going to have to be patient.
Oh, and Alisa, I'm shocked your pedi was so anxious about it. Mine was saying "It's perfectly normal" and that many "boys aren't potty trained until after 3."
I'm glad it's going well!!! Hang in there. My pedi said the same thing your pedi did too. It's funny how every pedi says something different.
Great blog - I was so stunned to find my post on here about "A day In the Life of me"!) Wow! I don't mind at all... I love that we mothers have so much in comon...we are truly so much alike - that's so encouraging to me...
Let's stay connected! :)
God Bless :)
Angela Riesterer
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